Each time I have the opportunity to
counsel men on relationship and
sexuality, quite a large number of them
want a decent, God-fearing, nice and
financially-dependent lady as a wife, but
not a sexually naïve virgin. They reason
that such a lady will definitely be a thorn
in the flesh on the wedding night. They
compare the task of handling a virgin on
the bed with that of teaching an
elephant how to dance. Putting it
precisely, many guys are not ready to
start fussing with a sexually-naive lady
on their wedding nights.
Many argue that they are not ready to
face another load of emotional stress
after overcoming the stress that
wedding preparations had put on them.
They also dread the teaching rituals of
every other night of the relationship.
But this is actually the best part of the
game. Why would you prefer some
other fellow to help you act the lead
role in the drama?. It is the person that
acts the lead role that becomes the star
and the super star.
Marrying a virgin wife should never
constitute a sexual nuisance or a
challenge. Rather, the groom should
have a good, loving attitude towards his
bride. He should not make it mandatory
to have sex with her on the wedding
night nor exhibit all the expert methods
that same night. Even if the bride is not
a virgin, it is very possible that she may
not be an expert on bed if she has not
been exceptionally sexually active prior
to marriage.
Start your lovemaking with a relaxed
mind; do not look too serious. Just
make sure you do the right thing at the
right time. The groom should say
something sweet and romantic to his
wife before anything else as this will
relax her more. The same goes for the
bride; she should not appear as a saintly
prey and the man as the merciless
devourer. She should give her husband
a reassuring look of acceptance and
approval.
Help each other to undress and give
room for both of you to refresh
yourselves with a good bath. This is
necessary to calm you down after the
ordeal of the wedding ceremony you
have both gone through. The physical,
mental and spiritual exhaustion might
affect you negatively if not well
handled. It is, therefore, very important
to be in a relaxed mood and not
compulsorily focus your mind on sex for
the night; you still have all other nights
to yourselves. When you finally
commence, do not skip foreplay. You
don’t need to be in a hurry; remember
the wedding night is just the beginning
of a lifetime of sexual enjoyment
together.
After bathing, which you can have
together, change into something
comfortable and nice. The bride should
change into something sweet,
irresistible, transparent and seductive;
preferably a new lacy bra and undies
with a good body perfume. The bride
just has to smell very good. The groom
should change into good pyjamas and
make use of a good perfume and comb
his hair neatly. The choice of the room
should provide enough privacy and
create a romantic atmosphere. Switch
off extremely bright lights because dim
lights are more romantic with candle-
light. All these have a calming effect on
the new couple and help to remove any
anxiety and feeling of embarrassment.
Dark light is not sexually appealing at
all.
You both can then graduate into holding
of hands, staying closer and maintaining
good body contact. The body contact
should take a longer time in order to
enable the lady especially to be more
relaxed and prepared for the job ahead.
Then, lovingly undress each other. It is
needful for the newly wedded to
undress in front of each other since it
helps to quickly handle shyness. This is
very important and if done rightly, it
creates oneness. This, however, should
not be done in haste. As the undressing
goes on, hugging and kissing should also
come in gently and at intervals. After
removing one piece of dress, kissing and
hugging should follow before removing
the next piece. It is important not to
give room for embarrassment at all
because you are both now husband and
wife.
Then love-play should follow by
caressing each other’s upper body; for
the bride, the breasts most especially,
the nipples. The nipples should not be
roughly fondled but faintly touched as a
feather touches the skin; or on the
other hand, let the man use his tongue
gently on the breasts; it is very
stimulating and exciting. The lady should
let her husband know whenever he
does something that excites her; this
will encourage the woman to be more
relaxed and have a loving attitude
towards sex and her husband.
Knowing that he cares for her feeling
also is another boost. If a husband-to-be
has this mindset, I am certain that
having a virgin as a wife is worth the
bargain.
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